The Craving Report

2:35 am Tuesday: Medieval Times‘ Roasted Split Chicken

A.Bell’s Midieval Times Chicken

photo: forums

Maybe it’s because I just finished working with power tools, but I want me some food I can manhandle!

The last time I went to Medieval Times, my friend and I sat next to a sweet Hindu couple. After I’d made some significant damage to my succulent, salty, finger-lickin’-good meat on the bone, I looked over and saw they’d been served some kind of veggie rice pilaf, and were delicately scooping it up with some flimsy plastic forks.

They said it was good, but I just couldn’t believe MT could not come up with some kind of rustic, barbarian vegetable that could be ripped apart, savagely bitten into, and truly “feasted” upon…that’s one of the quintessential elements of the experience!..a chance to get back to our primal roots! So what if Pepsi and puff pastry are not 100% accurate. If MT served gruel their ticket sales would plummet.

(Don’t take that personally Black and White Knight! You rule!)

But something must be done about this vegge-lemma. Maybe a whole head of romaine lettuce? A roasted beet? Grilled Corn a la Cafe Habana? Quick! Someone call Top Chef! Get thee to Lundhurst, New Jersey! King Alfonso and his troop of wenches are in dire need.


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